So, my feet are a saucy set of sad whores who every so often compel me to buy a pair of shoes befitting to their status... I blame my Aunt Martha, and my sad clad ladies of the evening thank her so much! While I was up in Middletown this past weekend, my Aunt Martha and I went shopping. As we were heading to the Old Navy (which I usually steer well clear of... their commercials make me so angry I could gnaw the Formica off my kitchen countertops), we passed by DSW and had to go in and make asses of ourselves. It's a Middletown tradition, that when I'm in town, we go to the DSW, and try on all the saucy shoes we'd never every buy, and then I make a bunch of pictures of our feet in all of their stiletto glory and we howl like lunatics and scare the other shoppers... there's comfort in ritual. Anyhoo, besides trying on said shoes, I've also come to have quite a collection that I've purchased at Aunt Martha's insistence that they look divine on, and I must wear them immediately and all day long. hmm... not going so well so far... but the floor of my closet looks amazing! So, I promised Aunt Martha that when I got home, I'd make a picture of every single pair of shoes I own and share a story if they had one...
Here goes... you may want to go to the restroom or grab some coffee... I've got a lot of shoes!!!
bought these this weekend with Aunt Martha. To me they say dirty punk rock, but so available and takes shower daily... never been worn...
mmmmm... bought these this weekend with Aunt Martha too! Wore them to 'Aunt' Jeannie and Billy's house, and as we were leaving, Jeannie had to hold my elbow as I wobbled my way to the bathroom... ugh... they're so high!!! I hope to wear them again, and soon!! (possibility of that happening... very slim)
aah, yeah... bought these in Middletown too, for Mandi's wedding last year... they're great and I do wear them occasionally (very occasionally... ok, so I wore them twice last year...*sigh*)
Love them! Every girl needs a delightful pale pink pair of spring shoes for the first several weeks in spring when everything is in bloom... including ladies... ha! never worn them... have had them for over 5 years
bought these for the White House Press Photographers Dinner in 2006 when Chris was honored for one of his images he made in the Tsunami. I had on this gorgeous pale pink tiered dress that scalloped to the floor. Aly has the dress now and I've never worn these again... oh and they're so uncomfortable I could have thrown myself out of a moving car and sustained less bruising than my feet did that evening... but I can't throw them away and I'd totally wear them again... they looked so great on! (oh and apparently because I'm a complete moron)
HA! never worn them but really want to... (um, and have wanted to for about 3 years now...)
never worn, grr... have had these for over 5 years...
OH MIAMI!!! These are Betsey Johnson and I HAD TO have them. I found these when I was down in Miami with my mother a few weeks ago. I haven't worn them yet (huh, funny, 3 feet of snow and haven't had the chance to wear them yet... oh the excuses...) I made my mother try them on (we're the same size) but she wouldn't let me make a picture of her in them. Total bummer, she looked fab in them and her khaki shorts... I find them completely beautific, and when you take them off, they leave a dusting of glitter on your toes... *sigh...* chances of wearing them out... so so slender...
ooh, hahaha, never worn 'em... so saucy!!!
oh so sad... never worn... but silver stilettos (hahaha, had to spell check this word, got it so wrong!!) they look so awesome with skinny jeans!!
never worn them, but they were hand made in Italy!! come on! so sweet!!
I've worn them several times, but not once this past year...
HA! Aunt Martha demanded that I buy these! They're smoking hot, and I wore them out dancing in Middletown this past weekend with Kurt and Heather!! In fact these have an awesome story to them.
We made it out of DSW, finally, and headed over to Old Navy (I had a gift certificate) where Aunt Martha and I tried to find a couple of sweaters to go with the boots. We were victorious and poof! Holy Moly, that's me, in my new boots, sweater and leggings... No seriously, stop laughing, that is really me! hahaha!! Suh-weet! Aunt Martha made me pose like Masha (my gorgeous cousin who loves to pose like a model whenever a camera is near) and I had a great time doing it, posing like this is hilarious, everybody should try it, it makes you feel silly and about 10 years younger!! And then while we were out, I, in all my glory, fell in the garbage can at the bar that we had gone dancing at and ... yup, as we were leaving, I missed a step as my boots wobbled and tipped me sideways, and as I went to brace myself against the wall, I misjudged the distance and instead I fell into the tall garbage can up to my armpit... and then couldn't get out without help because my boot heels were so tall and skinny I couldn't get any leverage to hoist myself out of the garbage... yup, that's me... feeling like a smokin hot girl stuck in the garbage can... hahaha, serves me right for making such a saucy face...
so, this is not the same pair of boots that Aunt Martha made me buy, this is the lonely pair of boots that I bought because I so desperately want to be the girl that wakes up and throws something on and thinks, oh, I'll just wear these 'everyday boots' nothing flashy today... hahaha, I'm so not that girl, that when Aunt Martha told me to buy the 'makes me fall into garbage can' boots, I didn't even remember I had these... damn they're hot though, yes?!! rrrrrowr!!! sexy, sexy boots!!
eeh, brown boots I never wear... Amber gave them to me, and they're lovely... oh and I never wear them... lame me... they snake up your calves and look like they've been laquered to your legs... and yet, I never wear them...
so now we come to the shoes I actually do wear with some frequency... prepare to be underwhelmed... These are the shoes I wear to shoot weddings that are black tie ( or optional) they're, um, comfortable...
I'm wearing these like I hope to be buried in them and I'm not so sure it's a good idea. I think they look great, but I might look like I'm going to steal your mother... the verdict is still out and no one has said yea or nae on them.
ha, never worn 'em... cute though, yes?
These are my shooting boots. I use them to boost my height so I'm not shooting peoples nose hairs at events... These bad boys push me up to 5'6" or a little taller and I get better angles when I shoot with them... hahaha, little scary looking though... doesn't matter, I've had them for over 10 years and they're unbreakable
my sandals... love them, wear them all summer... usually with shorts and a ratty t-shirt... I need to update from the knees up this year...
wear them a couple times each year, people ask me if I speak English when I wear them... hahaha, oddly they make me look Hispanic... hey, I'll take it...
shoes that make my legs look fat... and yet I can't stop wearing the black pair because I feel cute as a button... a big, fat, round, black clad, button... but I won't stop wearing them... hahaha. ugh!!! I try to wear them with jeans, but the urge to wear them with a poofy skirt that hangs above my knees is sometimes quite overwhelming... (and always a bad idea!!! Ladies, don't be tempted!! Wear these only with jeans!!)
oh yeah... so I got these for Amber for one of her birthdays, I thought they were magically ugly... I got them back that next year for my birthday, they were apparently just ugly... they're going back to Amber this Christmas... neither of us have ever worn them... but oh how they make us laugh!
never worn them but oh I cannot wait! superhero sneakers... I'm so excited!!
wear them daily, hate the sight of them... so comfortable I've slept with them on... (no I was not passed out...)
super... I have crabs (on my feet)... the men are lining up to date me... *sigh* they're a summer staple
hmm, yeah... you're thinking smoking hot, aren't you... yup... smoking hot...
I'm embarrassed to even have these in my closet... wore them all the time last summer... sexy shoe lord, please forgive me...
I'm noticing a sad trend here... all the awesome shoes are at the top of this post... and yet, this is what I live in... These by the way were what I bought myself for my 34th birthday... hahaha!! 34 is for suckers!!! It's like turning 20... my sister just turned 20 and she said, oh yawn, can't drink, middle of college, no big thang... that's 34 too... weird huh?
Stoopid Mother nature, making me wear these every day for over 2 weeks... hate them so much, love that I have them (thank you Peter Miller circa 1996) and can't wait to hide them in the basement for a very long time, sometime very soon.
The girl the closet thinks I am...
the girl the rest of the house is familiar with... hahaha!!! *sigh* I gotta start wearing some of my shoes!!
Thanks for making me do a post about them Aunt Martha! This year I'm going to make it a point to wear each and every pair of these shoes... out in public... not just when I'm vacuuming the living room (I practice standing in them when I clean the house... hahahaha!!! I'm serious...)
and for anyone counting, that was 34 pairs of shoes... crazy huh!!
Cheers!
Thank you Sissy...
I've been friends with Christopher for a long time. He's the way I feel when my eyes glaze over slightly and I bend over to write a story... light, half blind to time, not aware of anything but the words in my hands, totally without fear or presence, omniscient and raw. He gives me advice in my dreams, advice that I take because I trust him, me, him, and sometimes when I wake up, in the fog of blinking and looking around, waiting for everything to come into focus, I am not sure if we've actually spoken to one another or if I'd just spoken to the Christopher in my head. He's special in my world. I see him maybe once a year, and talk to him (outside of my head) maybe two or three times a year... we should barely be acquaintances... but again, he's special. I spin out when I'm with him. Everything comes out at once and I tell him things I haven't even told myself... it's good, it's awful, it's hard to be in the same room as him, I always leave disappointed and I'm not sure why... maybe let down that I didn't tell him enough, or told him too much, or fumbled with words when I knew them inside, but they wouldn't come out. There's no balance with him in sight, everything either floats or crashes and it's always too bright. I want to write when I think of him, I want to feel this agitation every second of everyday, it's overwhelming, spontaneous crying, leaning in for a first kiss, vomiting for the third time, burying your dog, running your hands over the chest of your lover, lightly, so lightly, jumping through a window to see how it feels... it's too much all at once and it makes me feel so good. He makes me feel so good, but not in a good way. Good for writing, magical for writing, living through my hands, to touch words in the right order and feel them come out perfectly, but no good for living. 
Thank you friend, in ways, for being so good for me, I wish I could see you more often... you help me write.
So, my feet are a saucy set of sad whores who every so often compel me to buy a pair of shoes befitting to their status... I blame my Aunt Martha, and my sad clad ladies of the evening thank her so much! While I was up in Middletown this past weekend, my Aunt Martha and I went shopping. As we were heading to the Old Navy (which I usually steer well clear of... their commercials make me so angry I could gnaw the Formica off my kitchen countertops), we passed by DSW and had to go in and make asses of ourselves. It's a Middletown tradition, that when I'm in town, we go to the DSW, and try on all the saucy shoes we'd never every buy, and then I make a bunch of pictures of our feet in all of their stiletto glory and we howl like lunatics and scare the other shoppers... there's comfort in ritual. Anyhoo, besides trying on said shoes, I've also come to have quite a collection that I've purchased at Aunt Martha's insistence that they look divine on, and I must wear them immediately and all day long. hmm... not going so well so far... but the floor of my closet looks amazing! So, I promised Aunt Martha that when I got home, I'd make a picture of every single pair of shoes I own and share a story if they had one...
bought these this weekend with Aunt Martha. To me they say dirty punk rock, but so available and takes shower daily... never been worn...
mmmmm... bought these this weekend with Aunt Martha too! Wore them to 'Aunt' Jeannie and Billy's house, and as we were leaving, Jeannie had to hold my elbow as I wobbled my way to the bathroom... ugh... they're so high!!! I hope to wear them again, and soon!! (possibility of that happening... very slim)
aah, yeah... bought these in Middletown too, for Mandi's wedding last year... they're great and I do wear them occasionally (very occasionally... ok, so I wore them twice last year...*sigh*)
Love them! Every girl needs a delightful pale pink pair of spring shoes for the first several weeks in spring when everything is in bloom... including ladies... ha! never worn them... have had them for over 5 years
bought these for the White House Press Photographers Dinner in 2006 when Chris was honored for one of his images he made in the Tsunami. I had on this gorgeous pale pink tiered dress that scalloped to the floor. Aly has the dress now and I've never worn these again... oh and they're so uncomfortable I could have thrown myself out of a moving car and sustained less bruising than my feet did that evening... but I can't throw them away and I'd totally wear them again... they looked so great on! (oh and apparently because I'm a complete moron)
HA! never worn them but really want to... (um, and have wanted to for about 3 years now...)
never worn, grr... have had these for over 5 years...
OH MIAMI!!! These are Betsey Johnson and I HAD TO have them. I found these when I was down in Miami with my mother a few weeks ago. I haven't worn them yet (huh, funny, 3 feet of snow and haven't had the chance to wear them yet... oh the excuses...) I made my mother try them on (we're the same size) but she wouldn't let me make a picture of her in them. Total bummer, she looked fab in them and her khaki shorts... I find them completely beautific, and when you take them off, they leave a dusting of glitter on your toes... *sigh...* chances of wearing them out... so so slender...
ooh, hahaha, never worn 'em... so saucy!!!
oh so sad... never worn... but silver stilettos (hahaha, had to spell check this word, got it so wrong!!) they look so awesome with skinny jeans!!
never worn them, but they were hand made in Italy!! come on! so sweet!!
I've worn them several times, but not once this past year...
HA! Aunt Martha demanded that I buy these! They're smoking hot, and I wore them out dancing in Middletown this past weekend with Kurt and Heather!! In fact these have an awesome story to them.
We made it out of DSW, finally, and headed over to Old Navy (I had a gift certificate) where Aunt Martha and I tried to find a couple of sweaters to go with the boots. We were victorious and poof! Holy Moly, that's me, in my new boots, sweater and leggings... No seriously, stop laughing, that is really me! hahaha!! Suh-weet! Aunt Martha made me pose like Masha (my gorgeous cousin who loves to pose like a model whenever a camera is near) and I had a great time doing it, posing like this is hilarious, everybody should try it, it makes you feel silly and about 10 years younger!! And then while we were out, I, in all my glory, fell in the garbage can at the bar that we had gone dancing at and ... yup, as we were leaving, I missed a step as my boots wobbled and tipped me sideways, and as I went to brace myself against the wall, I misjudged the distance and instead I fell into the tall garbage can up to my armpit... and then couldn't get out without help because my boot heels were so tall and skinny I couldn't get any leverage to hoist myself out of the garbage... yup, that's me... feeling like a smokin hot girl stuck in the garbage can... hahaha, serves me right for making such a saucy face...
so, this is not the same pair of boots that Aunt Martha made me buy, this is the lonely pair of boots that I bought because I so desperately want to be the girl that wakes up and throws something on and thinks, oh, I'll just wear these 'everyday boots' nothing flashy today... hahaha, I'm so not that girl, that when Aunt Martha told me to buy the 'makes me fall into garbage can' boots, I didn't even remember I had these... damn they're hot though, yes?!! rrrrrowr!!! sexy, sexy boots!!
eeh, brown boots I never wear... Amber gave them to me, and they're lovely... oh and I never wear them... lame me... they snake up your calves and look like they've been laquered to your legs... and yet, I never wear them...
so now we come to the shoes I actually do wear with some frequency... prepare to be underwhelmed... These are the shoes I wear to shoot weddings that are black tie ( or optional) they're, um, comfortable...
I'm wearing these like I hope to be buried in them and I'm not so sure it's a good idea. I think they look great, but I might look like I'm going to steal your mother... the verdict is still out and no one has said yea or nae on them.
ha, never worn 'em... cute though, yes?
These are my shooting boots. I use them to boost my height so I'm not shooting peoples nose hairs at events... These bad boys push me up to 5'6" or a little taller and I get better angles when I shoot with them... hahaha, little scary looking though... doesn't matter, I've had them for over 10 years and they're unbreakable
my sandals... love them, wear them all summer... usually with shorts and a ratty t-shirt... I need to update from the knees up this year...
wear them a couple times each year, people ask me if I speak English when I wear them... hahaha, oddly they make me look Hispanic... hey, I'll take it...
shoes that make my legs look fat... and yet I can't stop wearing the black pair because I feel cute as a button... a big, fat, round, black clad, button... but I won't stop wearing them... hahaha. ugh!!! I try to wear them with jeans, but the urge to wear them with a poofy skirt that hangs above my knees is sometimes quite overwhelming... (and always a bad idea!!! Ladies, don't be tempted!! Wear these only with jeans!!)
oh yeah... so I got these for Amber for one of her birthdays, I thought they were magically ugly... I got them back that next year for my birthday, they were apparently just ugly... they're going back to Amber this Christmas... neither of us have ever worn them... but oh how they make us laugh!
never worn them but oh I cannot wait! superhero sneakers... I'm so excited!!
wear them daily, hate the sight of them... so comfortable I've slept with them on... (no I was not passed out...)
super... I have crabs (on my feet)... the men are lining up to date me... *sigh* they're a summer staple
hmm, yeah... you're thinking smoking hot, aren't you... yup... smoking hot...
I'm embarrassed to even have these in my closet... wore them all the time last summer... sexy shoe lord, please forgive me...
I'm noticing a sad trend here... all the awesome shoes are at the top of this post... and yet, this is what I live in... These by the way were what I bought myself for my 34th birthday... hahaha!! 34 is for suckers!!! It's like turning 20... my sister just turned 20 and she said, oh yawn, can't drink, middle of college, no big thang... that's 34 too... weird huh?
Stoopid Mother nature, making me wear these every day for over 2 weeks... hate them so much, love that I have them (thank you Peter Miller circa 1996) and can't wait to hide them in the basement for a very long time, sometime very soon.
The girl the closet thinks I am...
the girl the rest of the house is familiar with... hahaha!!! *sigh* I gotta start wearing some of my shoes!!
So, this morning, surprise, snow's still here... we're supposed to get more on Monday. I'm over it. June, is still quite loving it. She's a snow devil, a little red tumbleweed in the white wind... she's freaking hilarious, and every time I feel like spitting in the wind, when it's blowing in my direction, she does something worthy of the short bus and I feel so fine.
Yay, look at Hank, he's outdoors, against his will, but all the same, he had a big day. I made him stay outside with us while I shoveled the car out (ugh!!! AGAIN!!!) June is not used to sharing the spot light, and every time I went to make a portrait of Hank, she'd come running at me like a grenade of joy. Hahaha, this one took me off my feet! Naughty puppy!!
Hahahaha!!! Hank's waiting to go back inside and is ignoring my callings to him, and June... well... June is just being an idiot... she stuck her whole head inside the snow... I was tempted to make a picture of the big dumb hole she left, but it was a boring picture... she's a moron sometimes, and SO funny!!!
ok, so she's a moron a lot of the time, hahaha, check out her gait, she's all the way up in the air... and Hank... poor Hank is sticking it out... I think he thinks my name is Dante... all those layers of hell he navigates everyday... *sigh* it's tough being Hank...
hahahaha.... I do not want to be around when he finally gets his super power death ray eyes kit in the mail... that's all I'm saying...
Hank slunk off to wait by the door, and June took the opportunity to go bananas... She loves the snow!! She loves the river, she loves the fall leaves, she just loves being outdoors... I love that she's going to keep me active all year round! Good hound!
HA!!! so, while I was kicking snow at her, or throwing snowballs, she found out that she could go a lot faster and save a lot of energy if she made like a bobsled and used the banks of snow as a source of potential energy! Zoom!!!! she'd get up to speed, and then lean into the wall and careen past me like it was Hound Olympics... Oh!! and I totally forgot to say thanks for the awesomeness that is 'Brad', my neighbor!! Yesterday, while I was in the final stages of wedding editing, I looked up and saw a big yellow thing, like a bobcat, moving snow... and I thought, oh yeah, they're finally plowing the street... and then I looked up again and thought, holy hell!! That's not the street, that's my damn yard!! WTF!!! So I got on my milk boots, threw on my jacket and went outside to see if, 1- my car was in one piece, and 2- why they thought that my front yard was the road! Well, it turns out that my neighbor, 'Brad' wanted to help his new neighbor, and his wife had gave him the go ahead to play with his new toy, which happened to be a big yellow bobcat. I love my new neighbor and his kind wife. Brad plowed me out of my house, around my car, and made enough room for Chris to park today... Dude, this guy's got good karma coming out of his arse!! June was in heaven with all the level playing space, and I finally got the front of my car shoveled out and I made it from the house to my car without getting snow in my boots... it was a really good day!!!
Check it out, June is in the world before Brad... I'm making pictures from the world after Brad... things are looking up...
before Brad... boots full of snow... tired after making it from house to road... mail not being delivered because mailbox cannot be reached... and after Brad... all things are mellow... emphasis on the low...
this is my favorite picture of the day... this one says to me... 'life is so great!'
hahaha, this one says to me, my hound is a moron... hahaha!!! What a great real estate portrait!! Buy this house, loads of fun, good price, dog not included... little red shed stays... I love my little place!
Hank loves playing ball. When he was young, he'd fetch until my arms were rubber and he was gasping like he'd smoked a pack of Pal Malls' before playing. Now a'days, he has trouble seeing the ball to catch it, and jerky June always beats him to it when he tries to get it. Here's June, also glad nothing's been delivered in the mail (ie... super power death ray eye kit)
aah, hahaha, here she is rubbing it in... naughty dog!! Younger sisters are the worst!!! (um, no offense Megan! You're a good one!) Hahaha, here's Hank making for the front door, completely disgusted with all the women in his life!!
Yup, we still have snow, and life is still good, although sometimes harder than we'd like...(especially if you're an almost nekked hound in a jerky sweater... surrounded by ladies that are not as funny as they think they are...)
